Memorial Day and the Feeling of Freedom

By: Ben King, Mindful Memorial Day

As a kid, Memorial Day meant no school for me on Monday. In college, it meant no class. And as an adult, it meant no work and good BBQ. Basically, Memorial Day was a 3-day weekend that meant freedom to do what I wanted instead of my normal responsibilities. You might think these opening lines are setting you up for how Memorial Day should be about honoring fallen Military Service Members. Or we owe them a debt of gratitude, and spending Memorial Day at a BBQ is sacrilege. Rest assured, that’s not where I’m taking this article. My reasoning for pointing out how I used to feel about Memorial Day is to show that while my ideas have changed, my feelings about freedom haven’t. Allow me to explain.

In 2014, I helped create Mindful Memorial Day at Arlington National Cemetery. To honor our fallen, volunteers gave away nearly 7,000 ribbons inscribed with the names of every post-9/11 fallen warrior during an exchange called “a mindful moment of gratitude.”

Thousands of mindful moments of gratitude later, including those at the gravesites of warriors, I’ve come to understand that feeling of freedom in the most sacred ways. And you know what? The feeling of joy from being with friends and family is similar to the feeling of honoring the fallen with gratitude.

I’ve noticed the following feelings from both honoring the fallen and being with family and friends on Memorial Day. The first feeling is a quiet mind. For someone who knows what hypervigilance feels like from countless nights on some corner in Baghdad, Iraq, to feel a quiet mind is truly peaceful. The second thing I feel is a swelling of warmth in my heart space. It’s similar to getting into a warm shower or bath—only from the inside. A heat—small, but powerful—swells in my chest. The culmination of a quiet mind and a warm heart feels light. If you’ve ever been on a long ruck march, then you know what I mean. That feeling the moment you drop your pack, and you instantly feel lighter on your feet: That’s how I felt honoring the fallen and being with friends and family I love.

That feeling of freedom is a feeling of my best self.

What I understand now is that’s the feeling our fallen died for: That was their gift. If the fallen could speak to us or acknowledge our behavior, I doubt they would mind whether we celebrate Memorial Day with a BBQ or at Arlington. To know that Americans still have the freedoms our fallen fought for is enough.

To honor the fallen, even for just one mindful moment of gratitude, helps recognize and spark that feeling of freedom. I know I don’t just honor the fallen for them: I honor the fallen for me. That sacred moment reminds me the feeling of freedom is alive and well inside my heart.

This Memorial Day—whether you’re with us at Arlington, attending an awesome BBQ, or doing something else—I encourage you to take a moment and be completely mindful of your gratitude for the service and sacrifice of our fallen warriors. Their legacy is your warm heart, smile, laughter, and joy. Your best is the feeling of freedom they died for.

In the meanwhile, visit HPRC’s Performance Psychology section to learn more about mindfulness in military environments and mindfully remembering fallen Warfighters.

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