Kaitlin Zastoupil – Who’s got her six?

Thanks for taking the time to talk. The #GotMySix campaign is about how we can improve our resilience by recognizing the people in our lives who support us through difficult times.

Tell us about your experience with the military.

My dad had a full career in the Air Force, so I grew up in the military. I lived in 3 different countries and 4 different states. I went to 3 different high schools by the time I graduated. My military experience continued, much to my surprise, when I met and fell in love with my now-husband, who is in the Army. So the moving continues!

Is there anyone in particular you’d like to thank for this year’s #GotMySix campaign? 

Definitely my mom! She has truly been through it all as a military spouse and mother. Not only has she supported me my whole life, as a child and now as adult military spouse, but she will also be flying out to help when I give birth to our first child. My husband won’t get any paternity leave initially, so I will need my mom’s help. I’m very thankful she has my six!

What kinds of things did your mom do to have your back over the years?

My mom was always the person to comfort me as a child when another move was announced. Moving usually brought a lot of tears as it meant saying goodbye to my friends. My mom knew when to comfort me and when I needed my space as I became older and needed to handle the emotions myself. We were each other’s support system during my dad’s deployment in my junior year of high school and on another assignment my senior year. I still call her for support and advice for moves with my husband, as the spouse who typically takes on most of the duties and planning for our moves. She’s always willing to listen to my frustrations and complaints about the unique situations and life the military brings.

How did her support change your attitudes and behaviors?

Most of my memories as a military child are extremely happy. Overall, I enjoyed moving around and meeting new people. During the times I felt angry or sad, my mom would always help change my attitude and make the move fun or exciting. 

As a military spouse, I call my mom when I’m upset about another work duty taking my husband away from me. She always seems to have a solution or experience in a very similar situation that occurred with her and my dad. My mom always has great advice that allows me to change my outlook and be more supportive in my relationship with my husband—and with the military.

Have you ever let her know how much that means to you?

I tell my mom how much it means to me that I’m able to talk to her about the unique experiences of a military spouse, however I probably don’t tell her enough. My mom takes mentoring other military spouses very seriously and volunteers her time to do it, but what she doesn’t know is that she’s also mentoring me as a young military spouse.

As a military child and spouse, what kinds of things do you do to support the people you love during challenging times?

As a child, I wish I truly understood how much my parents took on as a military couple. I wasn’t always the easiest child when it was moving time, or when we would be separated. I certainly could have been more supportive toward my dad by complaining less. And I could have supported my mom more as she took on most of the stress and duties of the family when my dad was away. 

Now that I’m an adult and I understand the stressors of active-duty military life more thoroughly, I tend to be more supportive than I was as a child. I believe being a somewhat independent person really helps military spouses like me be successful and better able to support our active-duty loved ones. Life as a military spouse can be very lonely. The active-duty Military Service Member has many duties outside of normal work hours. 

I try my best to let my husband know I’m here, but I refrain from asking a ton of questions. He tells me often how much he appreciates my awareness and “silent support” when he gets home from a long day. 

Also, I attend as many events as I can to show my support to my husband and his unit. When he was in command, I hosted family-friendly social events outside of work. The military is not just a job, it’s a family. Many times the active-duty member is responsible for others’ safety, mental and physical health, and their family members.

About the author

Kaitlin Zastoupil grew up all over the world as she and her family moved throughout her dad’s Air Force career. She met her husband 6 years ago and started another military journey as a spouse. They recently moved to Fort Leavenworth, Kansas.  

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